"Why I Can't Dream Big"

I was in a 360-degree theatre with my friends for a geoscientific show, and the immersive view was truly breathtaking and realistic.

My friend said that it would be the best place to propose and hoped that someone would rent out the whole theatre to do it.

I gave her a puzzled look and asked why she would want to rent out the whole theatre just for a proposal — why spend so much money on it?

She replied, “Don’t worry about the money; just look at the ambience. This 360-degree view feels so incredible and real. Yes, the proposal may be costly, yet allow at least your dreams to be expansive.

Darling, remember no one is charging you for dreaming big, and unless you dream big, how can you achieve big things in life?”

I paused to reconsider my thoughts and tried to think the way she did, but the idea of such an extravagant proposal still felt expensive to me. I started to doubt myself and wondered if my limited financial means were holding me back from dreaming big.

Maybe my financial situation was why expensive dreams seemed out of reach. But wait a second, and then I realised you don't need money to dream— so my financial status isn’t an issue.

Where am I lacking? Why can’t I think big dreams for myself?

Why does dreaming big feel like such an effort, and whenever I do manage to dream, I start doubting myself?

I reject my thoughts before the universe rejects them. I am not allowing myself and the universe the opportunity to grow and bring my dreams to life.

I realised that dreams don’t come from our conscious minds—they originate in our subconscious minds. You can’t force yourself to dream big; it’s a mindset and behaviour that need to be developed over time. Your conscious optimism plays a critical role here.

Helen Keller, the American author, once wrote, “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” Some might argue that optimism gives us a biased view of reality, but researchers agree that optimism is highly adaptive and increases our chances of survival.

By overestimating the probability of finding someone better as a life partner, she could be more likely to make an effort. This bias gives her an incentive to exert effort, which itself increases the probability of success.

The front centre of the brain is highly active when optimistic thoughts invade your brain; such activity leads to encountering favourable possibilities and diminishing the negative information. The impact of negative events is lessened or neutralised.

My readers can check out their optimistic score here — The Revised Life Orientation Test. An online test of 10 statements to give you a fair idea about yourself for optimism.

Results have shown people with good scores lead healthier lives, have high levels of brain development, and have higher survival rates.

I don’t need an expensive proposal or a showy love life. I have different values and a unique perspective on money, which may be why this kind of proposal doesn’t excite me the way it might excite others.

But now, I feel I can dream — something more expensive, something more precious, living more than 24 hours in a day.

I dream of settling down with the love of my life and creating my own little universe.

Thank you for showing your love. Do take the optimism test and share here in the below comments.

Let’s build our own little universe, one hopeful dream at a time.