"The 5-Rupee Wada Pav and the 30-Lakh Curse"

I remember when a 5-rupee wada pav (Indian burger) felt like a luxury I couldn’t afford. I would starve the entire day just to save those five rupees.

I never craved wada pav, but I badly craved financial independence.

But blessings often come with teeth.

My financial independence, earned through that very hunger, came with a modern curse.

The Perfect Medicine

My uncle called my mom and said, ‘There is a marriage alliance for your daughter; check your WhatsApp.’ We scheduled a meeting with my uncle, my mom, me, and that guy’s family. He was an engineer by profession, 30 LPA, and an SAP expert.

After that meeting I attended my close friend’s marriage; it was an arranged marriage with a guy from the same background with a similar package. It was a perfect wedding.

I looked around my circle; one of my friends was already married, another was conceiving a baby, one came with her fiance, and one was about to fix her wedding date. A few didn’t come because they were stuck with the duties and responsibilities of after marriage.

With God’s grace and blessing, they all were happy.

The next day the entire family, including my conscious brain, offered that marriage proposal as medicine. To them, he was the cure for all of life’s potential diseases. He checked every box of the “Well-Settled Man.”

I stood on that thin line, wondering: Is this what I want, or is this just what everyone expects me to want?

The Audition

At the meeting, I asked him a simple question: “Why do you actually want to get married?”

He straightaway laughed at me, saying, ‘Is this even a question?’ and there was silence.

I didn’t gather the courage to say it loudly. YES, IT IS.

By the age of 33, your “Why” should be crystal clear.

Are you looking for a housewife? A kitchen and office manager? A social companion to satisfy your parents? Relationship failed or never got a chance to love, so marriage is the only option left.

What kind of vacancy are you looking to fill?

In that moment, I didn’t feel like a bride-to-be; I felt like I came for the audition of MasterChef or the interview for Snabbit, a job I never applied for.

Most women look for safety and financial stability in their lives. I realised that for them he was a saviour. For a woman who has already rescued herself, he was a compromise.

The Beautiful Curse

I am cursed because I value my peace too much to trade it for a ‘Plan B’ marriage.

I refuse to be praised for adjusting when I want to be celebrated for living. I fear the kind of marriage where I disappear into the background — moving quietly from the hall to the kitchen to the bedroom, tucking my dreams away just to keep the peace.

I believe we weren’t born to settle but born to grow.

People say, “Thoda bahut to compromise karna padta hai” (You have to compromise a little). But I argue for acceptance over sacrifice. I don’t want to merge into a boring, singular "we".

I want a marriage where we remain two fascinating individuals.

I might sound mean, but for me it’s a human need.

Maybe some curses don’t destroy you. They just refuse to let you disappear.

My Search is Complete

When I say my search is complete, I don’t mean I’ve found him. I mean, I’ve found myself.

I know how to “cook the ingredients” of life, not just the ones in the kitchen.

I was rejected because,

I want a marriage that feels like a choice, not a job description, and not about who handles the kitchen or the office.

I am looking for a presence that feels like wide-open spaces, a love that asks me to expand rather than shrink.

I want to marry.

To feel more alive beside someone, not because my age is catching up or society is watching. I want to make deep human connections, where we both grow, rather than a life where I have to shrink to fit someone else’s expectations.

I am happy to be rejected a thousand times until the love of my life…my “Ginger”…enters my real world.

Until then, I will walk alone, gaze at the sky, and wait patiently.

Loneliness of self-respect is always lighter than a compromised soul.

If my story resonates with you, I challenge you to ask that “funny” question: “Why do you actually want to get married?”

People might find this question funny. To me, marriage is the most intentional choice a person can make. If there’s no ‘why’, then it’s just an arrangement, isn’t it?”

Please share your thoughts in the comments below or Join me here.

Thank you for reading.