"Obedient kids ruin their adult lives."

Structured life gave me comfort. But when I entered the unstructured world, it looked different. People around me were full of ideas, boldness, and creativity. Voices were clamoring for attention. And I was struggling to speak up, with my heart hammered with fear.

Growing up, I was the textbook definition of a “good child.” Quiet, diligent, unfailingly polite, and helpful, I always did my homework on time and consistently achieved high marks on every exam. When I was compared to my younger siblings, I was praised as a “good girl”.

“You’re so obedient,” teachers and parents would beam. “You’ll do well in life.

Those words became my guiding principle. I learned early that raising my voice, questioning authority, or stepping out of line were not just frowned upon—they were unthinkable. The structure of rules and routines became my comfort zone, a cocoon that shielded me from the uncertainty of the world.

I followed all the rules of a typical child. Why, then, am I struggling still?

I was taught that extracurricular activities were destructive and spoil a child, so I skipped them all and never participated in drama or dance. Even though I enjoyed my friends doing these things, I had this fear that I would waste my time here and ultimately score less in my exams.

This fear was so intense that I began to avoid playing during my free time, even when other kids my age were shouting and screaming on the playground. I used to sit with books not out of my interest but out of my fear.

Eventually I became a bookworm. I memorised material for the sake of good grades, never truly absorbing knowledge or exploring my own curiosity. My life was a series of checkboxes: follow the rules, get good marks, stay quiet, be helpful, repeat.

By all outward appearances, I was thriving. But inside, I was slowly shrinking.

The cracks began to show when I entered higher education; my world started failing from all sides.

Been an overobedient child, never learned confidence, has bad communication skills, and has no confidence to ask or question. to pretend to be good—and stay safe. I linked safety with my silence. Unstructured work began to create chaos in my life, and I fear making the wrong choices.

Obedience never teaches me to make decisions. It only teaches me to please others. and eventually became an adult who can’t say no without guilt.

I always hide my wants and become an adult who apologises for existing.

It’s a fact that obedient children negatively impact their adult lives, often without parents noticing.

Parents want their kids’ lives to be easy.

But life without mistakes wasn’t easy—it was empty.

I learned that obedience had taught me to follow, not to live.

Parents must understand their vital role in fostering decision-making and self-advocacy in their children. It is their responsibility to present opportunities for choice every day, allowing children to practice making decisions and learn from the consequences.

Teaching kids to follow directions and make wise choices is crucial.

Individuals who have the capacity for blind obedience are both dangerous and at risk, making them easy targets for manipulation.

Make your child aware that they always have a choice and make their own space in the universe with their conscience.

There is a thin line between teaching children to be obedient and helping them understand the importance of willing obedience.

Parenting behaviors establish the foundation for their development.

These developmental behaviors include giving them choices and guiding them in a supportive way to correct their mistakes. Parents who provide excessive help, such as making decisions and performing tasks that the child is capable of doing, or rushing the child’s thought process, end up controlling their children.

Ginger taught me, “Life is not a rulebook to follow. It’s a blank book, waiting for you to fill its pages with your own colors.”

No more an obedient kid… I am the author of my story.